The Diplomatic Registry
An official-ish record of humans whose shark-related paperwork is, for once, in order.
Everyone listed here has been formally assessed and declared symbolically unsuitable for shark consumption. The designation is legally meaningless, scientifically unverified, and aesthetically excellent.
0 registered diplomats
Search by name, Registry ID, or referral code to open a diplomat's record. Registry IDs and codes are printed on every certificate.
DEPT.
Registry disclaimer
This registry provides no legal, marine, or nutritional status. Inclusion does not reduce your statistical likelihood of being a shark's lunch. It does, however, place your name in a permanent diplomatic archive, which is more bureaucracy than most governments have ever devoted to your shark safety.
Want to join the list?
Every certificate issued gets you on the list, funds real conservation, and makes your seniority in the archives increasingly impressive.